Newbie

Today was a day of meeting new people - of being the "Newbie" of the group, just as Dr. Cox "fondly" refers to JD as (in Scrubs - which is shown on TV over here as often as Friends). My afternoon began with a meeting of minds - I met a Psychologist (holding both a PsyD and PhD) from Austria at the Serpentine Cafe in Hyde Park for a coffee. His name is Human - and I'm certain that wherever Sigmund Freud is, he is laughing at the irony of a psychologist being named "Human." Human found me on the city socializing website and appeared excited to know someone in the field. I got to hear about his current research project (which is what brings him to London for 6 months) regarding personality organization and spirituality - fascinating. He talked a bit about his articles and books published, all in German unfortunately, and discussed his upcoming lecturing topics. He appeared equally interested to hear about my clinical work with children and families, as he's never delved in that area, aside from some clinical work in addiction. Conversation was very 'shop-talk' with insights regarding the new DSM, the diagnosis of ADHD, and body modification. After two hours we said good-bye with a plan to visit the Freud Museum later in the week. I mentioned that I'd been to the Freud Museum in Vienna (where Human lives) eight years ago and unintentionally brought about a resentful tirade regarding the fact that the British stole "Freud's Couch" from Austria and have it in their museum, when it really should be in it's rightful home. Such passion! I'm hopeful that emotions will be kept in check when we actually see it in person...

And tonight was Book Club - complete with eight women who all know each other. A few had finished the book - I made a valiant effort in a day and got halfway, which I was both impressed and content with. The book was "Alone in Berlin", the conversations were quite provocative, the drinks bubbly, the laughter loud and cheerful, and the atmosphere of The Bobbin charming and traditionally British. The book is about 1940 Berlin, the Nazi regime, and taken from the viewpoint of Germans who feel repressed in their fear and isolation under such a fanatical leader - who don't really buy into the ideals but feel like they have no other choice. Ultimately, the book seems to be about the main character taking back some of his power and demonstrating resistance to the Fuhrer in the only way he knows how. All in all seems to be a decent read. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversations and listening to the opinions of the varied group regarding that era. After three hours, I had met quite a few lovely people, some of whom I will be seeing soon, I had been well accepted as a Newbie into this friendly group, and had the next book and meeting place in pocket. Walking up to my flat at 10pm, after a full day's excursion of meeting people, I felt both grateful for the opportunities and relieved it was over. I like the idea that the next time I see them, I won't be the "new girl" and that we'll have some things to talk about carried over from this first meeting - quite a success! The theme may have been "Alone in Berlin" but I am definitely not "Alone in London." Cheers to that.

Navigating Fear

As a Doctor of Feelings (that's what I used to tell my kids) - I spend a lot of time thinking about feelings - their relationship to thoughts, their physiological impact, and their core imprints. And I've come to believe that Fear is one of our core, base feelings, and actually, it's just the opposite of the One Main Feeling - Love. (And I know many people instinctively think that it's actually 'hate' that is opposite of Love, but I see 'hate' to be a derivative of Fear, just like all the "negative" emotions - jealousy, anger, envy, sadness, etc, which places Fear at the core of our emotional world, opposite Love). I'd even go so far as to say that every behavior we engage in is done out of Love or Fear (read: some derivative of either).

So - Fear. It's a big one. Gets in the way. There is plenty that can elicit fear - and one I've had a taste of is getting out into the social scene in London. It is so easy to make my solo trips to the Museums, to walk with my ipod around the Parks, to sit in a coffee shop with book or laptop. What ease! It's even easy to walk into Viva alone or to catch a movie midday - ticket for one. I've got the being-by-myself-thing down pretty darn good. It was the meeting-others-thing that seemed scary, inducing elementary school-like fear of being liked, of fitting in, of having a good escape just in case...

Well there's something about this Life's Adventure that seems to put me square in the middle of conquering all the fears I'd hidden under years of being a relatively outgoing and social creature. Facing my demons so to speak. Because when you do - they disappear.

This was the first lesson learned after I recently joined a city socializing website...basically an online social networking site that allows you to create a profile and then either post suggestions for events taking place during the week, or rsvp to events/socials that look interesting to you. There are hundreds of people on this social site and at least 10 different socials I could go to on any given evening, often more. They range from drinks at a pub, to clubbing, to movie nights, museum sighting, to dinner, to pub quizes, theatre, walks in the park, fitness events, and even weekend getaways. People are always planning something.

I courageously took the plunge almost two weeks ago, after completing my profile, and signed up for a dinner/movie event at our local bar with a tiny studio cinema seating 15 people - The Exhibit. Turns out that the girl organizing the event didn't get the tickets in time, but we found ourselves (3 of us) at a little Persian restaurant called Dish Dash, eating Tapas, laughing, and quite surprised how much we had in common. Helen was in her 20's from Australia and a social worker. We have plans to get together soon since we both live in Balham - how fun is that?!

Success makes it easy to jump in the deep end again - or maybe it's the adrenaline of the unknown. Either way, I signed up again for another social, this past Friday. I met a small group of strangers at the London Coliseum to see the Birmingham Royal Ballet perform, The Sleeping Beauty. It was fantastic! The building was breathtaking and the dancers were unbelievable. Tchaikovsky's score was flawlessly done by the Orchestra and I had the best seat in the house. There were four other city socializers for me to meet, and although we all had separate seats - we met at both of the breaks in the 3rd floor bar for drinks and had a bit of chatting before the show.

As easy as it would be for me to call this brief venture into the social scene a success and then drop it - I'm going to keep going. And yes, I have to navigate my fear each and every time I click on the RSVP button for a social, and each time I walk up to the venue and open the door...But it's about growth and ultimately about being fearless. Because really, what's the worst that could happen? This isn't 5th grade and I don't have to sit in the office because I kicked a boy in the shin for making fun of me. I'm an adult now and my escape routes are clearly marked! There's really nothing terrible that could happen except for me missing out on an opportunity to experience myself in new ways...especially if I were too scared to try.

So this week holds a Book Club meeting tomorrow at The Bobbin here in Clapham with a lovely-looking group...we're discussing "Alone in Berlin"...better start that for tomorrow. And Thursday will hopefully bring an evening of learning how to make fancy chocolates by a renowned Chocolatier and then taking our masterpieces home. A few more people have to sign up to make this one happen, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that come Thursday I'll be dipping them in chocolate.

The Day The Skies Stood Still

That was the headline of the local paper on April 15, 2010. And the skies stood silent and empty as the world waited to see what impact a Volcanic eruption in Iceland would have. Here in London – planes were grounded for six days creating an unprecedented amount of chaos as locals were stranded in foreign countries trying to get home, and foreigners forced to make England their home a bit longer. Standing on the ground, looking up towards the heavens, one might have imagined a hazy sky, seen a vision of massive clouds where there were none. Because in reality – nothing changed. The sun shone brightly, the blue sky turned various shades throughout the day, and the massive plumes of volcanic ash stayed silent and out of sight…thousands of feet too high for us on the ground to really appreciate.

Of course we could wrap our heads around the thousands of people sitting in airports, the fact that Annie Lennox couldn’t make it to Hollywood to participate in American Idol Gives Back, and the shouting matches between airline corporations losing millions of pounds per day. It was harder to imagine this force of nature, this unexpected and ubiquitous presence insulating the island with dangerous skies. “It” left the same way it came – without warning and without fanfare. A flight from Canada braved the atmosphere and landed in England without problem…and started the procession of airliners dotting the horizon. All seems back to normal, whatever that means. And most people here have gotten on with their lives without so much as a glance towards the vast blue infinity, without so much as a moment taken to stand in awe of the power of Nature, and with more than a few grumbles that their upcoming flight “better not” be affected. That seems to be the way that things happen in this world. If not personally affected, not much attention spared, not much thought given. In this Universe where things don’t happen by accident – I think it’s important to take notice of what happens, take notice of the forces behind the magnificence. It was the “Day the Skies Stood Still.” That’s a day for the history books for sure…and we’re a part of that history, as sure as we’re a part of this world.

Lovely London

There’s something in the air…difficult to pinpoint, but definitely noticeable. Flowers are in full bloom, grass is being cut, every fountain gushing, the sky a lighter shade of blue, the sun out long past the day’s end…strollers on parade, women trading knee-high boots for gladiator sandals, Adirondack-type chairs dotting the lawns of Hyde Park and Regent’s Park, impromptu picnics on open green spaces, business suits flooding the open-air plazas during the noon-hour, and outdoor seating available at every café. Spring is here in a very palpable way.

This last Saturday (4/10) I took advantage of the lovely weather and gave Regent’s Park a run for her money. I admit I was a bit skeptical that her beauty could compete with Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens….and I stood corrected. It was beautiful. Regent’s Park is every bit unique and different than other London parks. It somehow manages to feel small and intimate while at the same time being big and multifaceted. I made my way through a very traditional and symmetrical English garden type area with beautifully manicured bushes and color-coordinated flowers in gigantic stone urns, past a wildlife preserve set on a small island where I saw black swans (amazing- as I’ve never seen them before), past big open spaces in the distance with footballers in action, around the manmade lake crowded with rowboats and paddleboats, over bridges and around waterfalls, and finally to a part of the park where the daffodils swayed haphazardly and people lounged on spongy grass under trees and across the walking path from the water’s edge. I grabbed a piece of earth to sit on for myself and ate my picnic lunch while I kept one eye on the waterfowl and one eye on the parade of tourists and locals. I easily passed quite a few hours sitting, watching, reading, and listening to music – until it was time to go. On my way back to Balham (although it was not in any way “on the way”), I stopped at Hyde Park to have a walk around. It only seemed fair. I got off at the Paddington station and walked past my old place, by Lancaster station, and through the black iron gates into Kensington Gardens. And in that moment my soul was joyful. I made my usual walk through the park, with a bit of a struggle (lots of bobbing and weaving) given that hundreds of people were loving up the park the same day I was…and I contemplated the two great parks of London. And while some might say that Regent’s Park is more diverse and offers a more polished, grander version of a royal park – apparently my heart will always find itself more at home in Hyde Park.

Photos of Regent's Park -






More -





And just a few of Hyde Park (to be fair of course!) -

Springtime In London

So, I'm sitting on the window seat in my flat, the sky is blue with fluffy clouds, someone down the street is playing music that I can hear (romantic rock!), and I am still reveling in the day that I just had, remnants of powdered sugar on my shirt from the world's best almond croissant (found at Flour Power City Bakery at Borough Market). Today was one of those days where the soul feels as light and airy as the warm breeze, and gratitude is tossed around like rice at a wedding - because one cannot help but be thankful for the experiences of life.

Today was the warmest day I've seen London have - and it was glorious. There were tourists in shorts, some in flip flops, and still others in parkas and Uggs. The sun was my constant companion today and it is still shining although the clock ticks towards 6:30pm. My day started with a tube ride to the London Bridge exit and a short walk to the bank of the Thames River. Had lunch outside at the Thameside Inn, overlooking the river. I thought it time I try a traditional English dish - bangers and mash - and opted for a vegetarian spin that was unexpectedly delicious - wild mushroom, herb, and black pepper "sausages" with a side of chips. I lounged at the table watching the ferries and water taxis go by, the business minded crossing the London Bridge, the tourists taking photos, and I soaked up as much Vitamin D as I could. Then it was time to make my way through Borough Market. It's like a farmer's market on steroids. And there is quite a rich history behind it - the market first started 1,000 years ago on London Bridge, where country farmers brought fresh goods to the city gates. The market now sits under a huge Victorian arcade with trains rumbling above, Southwark Cathedral as its neighbor, and is one of London's oldest public gathering spots. This market opens at 2am for open-air wholesale produce buying and stocks most of London's thousands of eateries. (There are also wholesale fish, meat, and flower markets in various parts of the city that supply London, but I haven't made it there yet...I'm envisioning huge fish being flung above my head and large beefy men in bloody aprons!)

Anyway - the Market was amazing - with a kaleidoscope of colors, smells, and noises. Bushels of fresh produce, fresh fish counters, organic smoothie stands, curry counters, french cheese cases, baked pastries, pies, and tables lined with loaves of fresh breads, flowers and lavender bundles from Provence...it was intoxicating. Some people were there to shop, some to eat, and others just to watch. Every available bench and piece of sidewalk was crowded with Londoners consuming their lunches or snacks from the Market while basking in the sun. The pubs nearby were empty and dark on the inside while all their patrons drank their pints on outdoor patio tables or standing in the sun. There was a vibe and an energy to the whole South Bank area that was uplifting. I made my way out of the Market with a fresh baked Baguette, an almond croissant, strawberries, eggplant, vine tomatoes, and a red and green pepper.

Because every tour book tells you to, and because today seemed like the perfect day to do so - I stopped at the Ice Cream truck parked by the South Bank river walk. Their first original treat (and most popular and oldest treat) is the 99p - it's a cone with vanilla ice cream and a Cadbury chocolate Flake bar stuck into it. Cone in hand, I walked along the bank of the river, passed Shakespeare's Globe Theater, and a very cool and very old traditional pub called the Anchor. Then inspiration struck as I was standing by the entrance to the Thames Clipper - which is the name for the water taxi, which is a part of the general London transport services like the tube (you can even use your Oyster card, tube pass on the boats). Boarded the boat at Bankside Pier and rode it all the way to Millbank Pier. It was such a thrill! What a great way to see London, standing on the back of a big boat, the wind whipping your hair, passing under grand bridges, coasting by Big Ben and the House of Parliament...I was so excited I didn't want to get off! After disembarking at Millbank Pier, I had a leisurely walk back towards Big Ben, walking along the river, through Victoria Tower Park (which sits just to the side of Parliament and is full of daffodils and flowering trees) where I could actually smell the grass, and an impromptu football game was underway. Made my way past Westminster Abbey, Parliament, St. Stephen's Tower (which is actually what most people think is Big Ben - Big Ben is the name of the bell inside the tower!), and crossed Westminster Bridge. I stopped halfway across the iconic bridge to take it all in. Just behind me the historic trademarks of London -just to the front, the London Eye - ferris wheel, -and to the sides, the Thames sparkling with diamonds in the afternoon sun.

I made my way through the mobs of people queuing to get on the London Eye, and walked to Waterloo Station, another amazing train station with its own city under a massive canopy. Finally back in Balham, met up with a friend at Starbucks for a mango tea icee and then walked home the long way through Tooting Common, so I could see the strollers on parade, the random football games, and all the locals generally delighting in the sunny warm Spring day. I feel like the sun came out to shine on me today and for that I'm so very grateful.

Pictures from Borough Market -






Pictures from South Bank walk, River Thames boat ride, Westminster Walk...







And More...

Living La Vida London

Things one can't help but LOVE about London...

* The sense of history
* Narrow, and often crooked streets/alleyways meant for two cars to pass, but barely fit for one
* Heinz beans for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
* Calling dinner "Tea"
* Walking over tombstones of the dead in most churches
* E7ating in Crypt Cafes
* Double Decker Red Buses
* Black Cabs
* Fountains on busy corners
* Cobblestone streets
* Palaces in the middle of busy intersections
* The Queen's emblem everywhere
* The words, "Appointed by Her Majesty, The Queen of England" on the side of most food and other products
* The Boat Race - Oxford crew team vs. Cambridge crew team down 4 miles of the crooked Thames River
* Curry - best known as England's national dish
* Parks in the middle of the city - Hyde Park, St. James's Park, Green Park, Regent's Park...
* Commons in the middle of the "burbs" - Wandsworth Commons, Tooting Commons, etc...(these are mini parks)
* Double cheek kiss hello
* Football mania - go Manchester United - and no Wayne Rooney does not look like Shrek
* 70 million people living in a country the size of Florida
* The melting pot of diversity
* Streets lined with identical houses, seeming to go on for miles - looking like rowhouses but somehow more quaint and British with stained-glass windows
* Having a "garden" not a "backyard", even if there's not a single flower or vegetable planted
* Being called "Love" - even by strangers..."You want chips with that Love?"
* The Posh walking the same streets that the Not So Posh walk
* Bowler Hats
* Theatre District - the West End - any musical you could want, any night of the week - and stage plays as well
* Arcades - which are not places to play video games, but narrow, alleyways in the middle of a block that run perpendicular to the storefronts you pass, and are lined with specialty stores, like a Man's Shaving Shop, or a Tie Shop, or an Italian Leather store...
* Markets - Jubilee Market/Covet Garden Markets, Camden Markets, Portobello Markets, Bourough Markets
* Tiny, and even tinier cars
* The Underground - and the Overground (the tube and the train)
* English Breakfast Tea - English style, with milk and sugar
* Biscuits with tea - which are actually "cookies"
* Puddings with traditional Custard - which means basically any dessert with an amazing pudding-like custard over it
* Crisps (which are potato chips) in flavors such as Roasted Chicken, Prawn Cocktail, Smokey Bacon, and Honey Wiltshire Ham
* PUBS - all of them, and especially the traditional ones with fantastic names: The Cocks and Lion, The Rose and Crown, The Pig's Ear, The Fox and the Grapes, The Queen's Arm, The Red Lion, etc...
* Pints of Cider - Stongbow or Bulmers
* Jacket Potatoes - the size of your head and filled with whatever you want, but most likely beans!
* Huge and spectacular buildings, centuries old, next to modern day architecture
* Christopher Wren and his amazing contribution to London's skyline
* Art, art, and more art - The Tate Modern, The Tate Britain, National Gallery, Royal Academy of Art, Museum of Natural History, British Museum, etc...
* Churches, Cathedrals and Abbeys - some of the most famous and most awe-inspiring of all time (St. Paul's Cathedral, Westminster Abbey, Southwark Cathedral, etc)
* Tower Bridge
* The English Language - not the American one
* Bobbies on horses in the city (police officers)
* Changing of the Guard - the fact that there is a Guard - the fact that there is Royalty
* London landmarks - like Big Ben, Parliament, and a gigantic ferris wheel (the London Eye)
* Speaker's Corner in Hyde Park - the fact that people go and listen on a Sunday afternoon
* Swans in every pond in every park
* Daffodils sprouting aimlessly and everywhere in Springtime
* An inch or two of snow/ice causing a stop-the-city panic
* Rush hour meaning that it's 6pm and you're trapped in a sea of pin-striped suits, you face smashed up against the glass of the tube while it hurtles down the black hole, and a mystery man's armpit is inches from your nose - and you're thankful he showered - and the people around you think there's still enough room to open their Evening Standard and read a few paragraphs before everyone is thrown off balance by the next stop.
* Two newspapers a day - the morning version and the Evening Standard - because no one in London wants to miss a minute of the important worldly events - like the status of the Premier League's scores (football)
* Gavin and Stacey - and for that matter, most British television shows and sitcoms - I mean, C'MON - the Eastenders?!

Surely, there are so many more things to list...but that will do for now. Sometimes the senses get flooded with a giddy appreciation and amusement of that which is different. And I am so enjoying being surrounded by all that is different, and all that London has to offer.